Ladies: Don’t settle. Don’t deny yourself! However…

I'm a gay guy.  I've been in a glorious love-filled relationship with another man for – it'll be 15 years this year.

I have no agenda here…. except to help.

I have many many female friends.  And so often, their stories all sound the same…   I'm sitting there listening to them and thinking, "Oh boy. This story again…" and "Here comes the part when…."  ….like a movie I've watched 1000 times.

The more times I hear the story, the more I realize that women just don't get men at all.   And not only that, women don't even get THEMSELVES at all!

But it's not just women and girls….  Straight men are drawn to me, to open up and tell me their deepest thoughts and feelings and ask for my advice about their girlfriend(s) too!  And from listening to them, I hear the same GUY version of the story…. over and over and over…. like a DIFFERENT movie I've also seen 1000 times before.

Guys are clueless about ladies / women / girls too.  And ladies are even more clueless about guys.  Sadly, ladies are just as clueless about THEMSELVES…. and how to achieve their dreams… as they are clueless about guys.

So it's a gigantic mess.  It never ceases to amaze me that the human species is even able to procreate…. given how little the sexes understand each other.

So anyway…..    This little diatribe is dedicated to all my female friends.   It's only a tiny little glimpse…. just to barely scratch the surface of this subject, but here's a bit:


Don't settle. Don't deny yourself. Your dreams are valid, engraved on your heart by God. However, the moment you ASSIGN your dreams to another person… The moment you put your dreams on the face of a man… That's the moment you have made a crucial mistake… destroyed the joy… and delayed your dreams.

Your dreams are valid.  Your dreams are divine.  You are MEANT to live your dreams.  (The good ones, anyway.)

However, it is the Biggest of mistakes to ASSIGN your dreams to the face of ANY man.

How DARE you!!!   Those are YOUR dreams.  What is he?   Your new slave?  Is he not an equal human being, with equally valuable dreams OF HIS OWN…?

NO!  His dreams are NOT your dreams….  No matter how much you want to force them to be! 

Who do you think you are?  Trying to FIT, and trying to FORCE, your dreams…. onto him….

No. No. No. No.  That is not fair. And that is why he will turn and RUN from you…. when you try to do that.

He is a human being.  He has his own complete set of dreams.   And, no!  He should not try to force his dreams onto YOUR face either!

You are here to Live your positive Dreams.  You are NOT here to PUT (impose) those dreams onto another human being.  You are not here to RECEIVE those dreams FROM another human being — as if he is Santa and your dreams are a new toy.

God is the source of your joy, your happiness, your peace, your love, and of your dreams….. not some guy.

Do Not Attach a Serial Number to What You Want

When thinking thoughts about what you want….  Don't try to manipulate or control HOW you're gonna get it!  How you're gonna get it is none of your business.  It's God's business. 

Don't assign a serial number to your thoughts about what you want.  You want a new convertible red Ferrari. ….fine.  But DO YOU REALLY CARE what the serial number is?  No!  Of course not!   So don't be so attached to ONE SPECIFIC Ferrari!  Maybe God has an even better one on it's way to you… that you don't even know about.

And No!  A man is not a Ferrari!   He is not an object your rich uncle can buy you…. and you can own and control like a puppet and puppeteer.  No!

A partner is someone — an equal — with whom you share an elevator ride with….  Someone you show respect to.  Someone you don't judge.  Someone you show love toward.  Unconditional love.

As soon as that light goes on in your head…. and those female brainwashing lines kick in…. "Oh!  Maybe this is THE ONE!"   That's the moment it all goes to Hell.  That's the moment the love and joy is sabotaged.

WHERE?  WHY?  HOW?  … every little girl brainwashed into thinking…. There's gonna be a "THE ONE"….. who will come along and take care of me….  and be THE ONE in my dreams.


If your dreams include anything about IMPOSING themselves onto another human being, they are not divine and true.  They are not from God.  They are from your own ego's fear.

If your dreams include you being CONDITIONAL in your love.  They are not from God.  They are not divine.  They are from your own ego's fear.

If your dreams include you being JUDGEMENTAL in your love.  They are not from God.  They are not divine.  They are from your own ego's fear.

There is one, and only one, way to achieve your dreams, your happiness, your joy, and your bliss.  And that is through PUNL.

Pure Unconditional Non-Judgemental Love

Ladies take note.  They are quick to write these words down. 

Then they are even quicker to toss them out….   to rationalize….   and to justify…..  and to explain…..  them away.

They "explain" that, while that may work for you or for others….  You don't understand MY life….  You don't understand MY relationship…  You don't know THIS guy…

I've given you the answer.  The COMPLETE answer.   It is PUNL.

Nothing else.  Nothing else.  Nothing else.  (Thus the first word:  Pure)

If you chose to use it, to live it, to be it…..  It works.

If you chose to poo poo it and toss it aside and explain why that'll never work….  then welcome the sadness, the pain, the depression.

God trians us similarly to the way we train a puppy.

Perhaps you haven't yet experienced enough pain yet…  to learn….  that there is only one choice.  And it is:



Only Love,



PUNL™ is the title of my new book.  To purchase a copy, please contact me.

PUNL™ and "Pure Unconditional Non-Judgemental Love"™ are trademarks of Bruce Wagner.

Posted via email from Bruce’s Journal

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