A post I wrote last month, called How to Avoid Becoming a Rapist, has spawned a bit of a conversation…
Following is my most recent reply to feedback from a person who calls herself, “Thinking Girl”…
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Thinking Girl,
I agree with much of what you previously said (in response to “Future Rapist”…) But not all of it.
Yes, One CAN clearly see evidence of a woman’s intentions, or desires, by what she is wearing or how she is acting.
“Social pressures on women to act and dress provocatively exist.”
Yes… However, women are TOTALLY 100% responsible for their own actions. If women choose to cave in to those so-called “pressures” to become sexual temptresses… And PLAY with the sex drives of men… Then they are playing with FIRE.
When I said, that “most women have ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT of the POWER that sexual attraction has on a man.” What I MEANT was: (1) Every woman knows about the power that sexual attraction has on a man – that’s why so many dress as sexually provocative as they can… HOWEVER, (2) Most women have absolutely no concept of exactly HOW powerful that sexual attraction can be… on a man. .. They have no concept of the MAGNITUDE of the power… (because they are not men).
In other words, they all know it explodes… They just don’t know they are playing with an atom bomb…
They think they are playing with matches, when in reality, they are playing with an atom bomb.
Yes, “…women who dress provocatively are intentionally enticing male sexuality, and they DO share responsibility for the consequences – to some extent.”
They are NOT totally to blame.
But they are NOT totally innocent and blame-free either.
Yes, “…by dressing provocatively, some women are complicit in their own rapes.” As I said, they don’t know the power of the fire they choose to play with… Then, when the bomb explodes, they blame the bomb 100%.
“Asking for it? Desiring it, even?”
No. Just plain ignorant about it… and careless about it… and sometimes, playing games with it…
Don’t play drinking games with an alcoholic. You will lose.
YES, ALL “…women should know that men simply can’t control the wild animal that sleeps inside their pants.”
YES, Absolutely! As a MAN, I can explain it to you.
Men are NOT like women. And women are NOT like men.
If you don’t believe me, you tread at your own risk.
“Your argument hinges on an essentialized view of men – namely, that men’s biological sexual urges control them to the point that they are powerless to resist… even as you affirm that men do have responsibility for their behaviour.”
Yes! The best way to explain it is with an analogy: Men = crackheads. Women = crack.
The urges control them to the point that they are almost completely powerless to resist, yes! Even so, they are ultimately responsible for their own behavior. Therein lies the paradox. But that’s the way life is.
“In our society, we don’t consider it acceptable to hold someone responsible for something that is out of their control – for example, people with mental illnesses are exempted from criminal punishment and instead treated psychiatrically.”
Oh, but we DO… Hense, the crackhead example… Crackheads are still heald accountable for their actions.
“So, which is it? Are men helpless, or are they responsible?”
Both.
“Are men really as helpless as crack addicts in terms of controlling themselves around women who are dressed provocatively? Considering that not all men rape women who are dressed provocatively, I think we have our answer.”
(Ha ha! I used my analogy of the crackhead, above, BEFORE reading yours. Honest! How funny!)
Yes, men really ARE as helpless as crack addicts around crack. THAT is what women just do NOT understand… The more crack you show them, the more helpless they become…. Normal men… ALL men…
“Are women purposely tempting men, or are they clueless?”
Both.
They are purposely tempting men…. Often “playing” them… But they are clueless as to HOW MUCH power their crack holds over the head of the crackhead (all normal men)….
“Or, perhaps, women are intentionally trying to entice men only to a certain point, but then they don’t realize when they have crossed some…line beyond which men cannot control themselves?”
THAT is what I mean by… “Playing with Men”. They play with men the way one might tease a dog. Show him the bone. Let him smell the bone. Let him bite on the bone. Then jerk it out of his mouth… They tease and taunt intentionally….. as would be forbidden with the animals at any zoo!
Women know every little thing they can use to become more sexually attractive. What they DON’T know… is HOW MUCH power they are toying with. And many, frankly, don’t care… They look at the men as animals which are just fun to tease…
“Your view of “what men are like” and “what women are like” is seriously flawed. Not all men are driven by “sex first, feelings second” – and not all women are driven by “feelings first, sex second.” There are lots of men out there who are more interested in a loving relationship than with sex. And there are plenty of women out there who are far more interested in sex than they are in a relationship.”
No, my view is not flawed. It is the norm. It is 99.9% typical, in reality — across all cultures and times. However, many people are in denial… and many people lie a lot.
“Rape is not about sex; it is about power.”
Yadda yadda yadda. Some WOMAN wrote that. That is the standard feminist mantra. The only problem with it: It’s not true.
Rape is about sex.
Guns are about power. Rape is about sex.
To say that rape is not about sex… is like… that famous quote, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
Rape is forced sex. By definition.
If it were only about power, there would be no sex involved.
Ever wonder why it is that all the so-called “experts” on the subject of rape, are women…? And all of the rapists are men…? Does that make any sense to you?
Any man could explain rape to you better than the most acclaimed, female, so-called expert… If he wanted to.
Most men are terrified of telling women the truth about such things though… Because women will never understand. Men probably believe that they are incapable of ever understanding…
I think most men believe that…
Women could never feel the same way about a bone… as their dog does. For they are not a dog. And…
Women could never feel the same way about sex… as men do. For they are not a man.
“Of course some women dress provocatively on purpose, to attract male attention.”
Yes. Playing with Fire.
Please Don’t Feed or Tease the Males.
If you dress provocatively, you have increased the risk factor.
If you dress provocatively, then you walk through the worst neighborhood in town… you have again increased the risk factor.
If you do all of this at 4:00AM in the morning, you have again increased the risk factor.
Just like waiting until you find a parking space in South Beach BEFORE you decide to stow all of your valuables into the trunk… in broad daylight… in front of everyone…
Everyone would agree. It’s just not smart.
It’s very obvious. And it’s common sense.
If you knowingly increase the risk factor, you can claim innocent all day long… But YOU will end up being the victim.
Does it really make you feel better to claim that you are 100% blame-free?
It would make me feel better to not have become a victim at all, in the first place.
Ladies: Don’t play drinking games in front of recovering alcoholics. Don’t waive crack around in front of crackheads. Don’t feed or tease the animals at the zoo. And most importantly, don’t play teasing games with the males of the species.
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